SONS OF GOD

Many young unmarried women wonder what type of man she should marry. What should her expectations be? Is having any expectation right or wrong?
I have seen many young women have dreams and wish lists about colour, height, education, salary, position and a seemingly endless list while looking for their future marital life-partner. Instead of all these matters, there is just one thing you should look for in your Adam. Is he a child of God? Is he a son of God? Adam is called the ‘son of God’ in Luke 3:38. The same way your future marital life-partner also should be a ‘son of God.’ This should be your only desire. In most matrimonial profiles, we often see the term ‘Christian.’ But, what do we look for in a Christian? What are the traits of a true child of God? This article aims to address these lingering questions based on the Word of God. We should pray for our marital life-partner according to the revelation from His Word so that we can have wonderful God-centered marriages.

IS HE A BELIEVER?

First, we find in John 1:12 the Scripture says, “But all who did accept him and believe in him, he gave the right to become children of God.” Your first question should be: Has your future marital life-partner accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior and believes that his sins have been washed in the blood of Jesus? Then he is a son of God. Paul clearly states in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Don’t be yoked together with unbelievers.” If the person you marry is an unbeliever then he will not be able to love Jesus. Instead his father will be the devil as it says in John 8:44, which in turn means that your father-in-law is the devil.
It is not a joke, no matter how rich, famous or handsome, well educated the person is, the result will be catastrophic for you. No matter how loving and kind he may seem to be to you, as a daughter of the Most High King, you cannot marry an unbeliever. God’s Word has declared that it will be great hardship for you in the end.
In the event, you did not have the choice or if you have ignorantly (or arrogantly) married an unbeliever, it is time to pray and ask God to rescue him from the kingdom of darkness and bring him to the kingdom of God. The Bible compares the kingdom of God to yeast. A small amount of yeast can work in all the flour. The same way by the power of the Holy Spirit and through your pure life and by a gentle and quiet spirit, you can bring them to the Lord (1 Peter 3:1-4). Through relentless prayer and testimonial life, God will “sanctify” your spouse’s life (1 Cor. 7:14). It is a promise from God’s Word! Yet if you still have the choice to choose your future marriage partner, choose only a believer in Christ. If you do not, it may mean a lifetime of trouble in your own household before your unbelieving spouse comes to faith in Christ.

IS HE LED BY THE SPIRIT?

Secondly, according to Romans 8:14, “The true children of God are those who let God’s Spirit lead them.”
Many times people use the term ‘born again believers’ like a status quo in marriage profiles, but their Christian faith is nominal. We really need to discern if the potential marriage-partner is led by the Spirit of God daily. Examine if he does have the infilling of the Holy Spirit working in his life. Check to see if he has a life that craves the climb up the corporate ladder or the earning of riches and hoarding of money (I Timothy 6:10). Instead make very sure, he is a man who is led by the Spirit in day-to-day activities and in making big decisions. This is the kind of man you should pray to marry and receive as your marital life-partner.
Again if you have already married a man, due to unavoidable circumstances, who is not filled by the Spirit or a man who just perceives the Holy Spirit as an emotional, occasional goose bump, don’t crib or complain. Instead ask God to fill him with the Holy Spirit. The Bible says in Luke 11:9-12 that “your Heavenly Father will give the Holy Spirit to those who seek him.” Also in Joel 2:12 says, “God will pour out His Spirit on all flesh.” You should earnestly pray because in these last days if your marital life-partner is not led by the Spirit, the lure of money, which is the god of this world, will most certainly lead him astray.
King Solomon married unbelieving wives who followed gods other than JEHOVAH GOD. 1 Kings 11:3 says, “His wives caused him to follow other gods.” If these heathen women can cause a wise king to turn away from the living God, how much more can we as Spirit-filled, anointed children of God turn our husbands back to the Lord. If you are not yet living a life led by the Spirit, it’s time to lay hold of God and ask God to lead your life every step of the way.

IS HE A PEACEMAKER?

Thirdly, we read in Matthew 5:9, “Those who work to bring peace are happy because God will call them his children.” The man you marry must be a peacemaker, not quarrelsome. He must make every effort to keep peace. If you are not married to a peacemaker, you married life will be a mess. Marriage is not about petty fights or tantrums that people have in the courtship phase. It is much more than that. It is major real life decision, which impacts every second of the day for the rest of your life. If there is a person who throws their weight around seeking to start arguments at the drop of a hat then your warning lights should be jarring.
After you make the covenant of marriage in the presence of God, don’t think things will change once married. It does not work that way as people are brought up in different backgrounds, life styles and circumstances. It takes a lot of maturity, adjustments, submissiveness and most important of all, peacemaking. It takes a lot of humility to be a peacemaker in any given situation. So pray for a man who is a peacemaker. In the event, you have a misunderstanding in your home; you will have a peacemaker by your side that wants to solve conflict quickly.
However, if you are already married to a quarrelsome person, it is time to invite the ‘Prince of Peace’ as the third person in your marriage. Call Him in the times of trouble (Psalm 130:1) He will answer you and He will be the third strand in the chord. A chord of 3 strands is hard to break (Ecclesiastes 4:12). So when Jesus is there in your life, it is hard to break down a marriage. He shed His blood and the chastisement for our peace was laid upon Him. His side was pierced for the sake of families so that we will have peace within our walls. Claim the blood of Jesus that was shed for our peace and receive His peace and pray that both you and your marital life-partner will be peacemakers together so that you will be worthy to be called children of God.

CAN HE LOVE ENEMIES? DOES HE DO GOOD TO OTHERS? IS HE GENEROUS?

Finally, we read in Luke 6:35, “But love your enemies, do good to them and lend to them without hoping to get anything back. Then you will have a great reward and you will be children of the Most High God.”
In this verse, we see that a child of God loves his enemies in words and deeds and is generous. People often say, ‘I am a Christian, go to church and read the Bible,” but if you look deeper one understands that only a true child of God in relationship with Jesus can love his enemies, be nice and unselfish to them and be generous towards God and man. Therefore, before you select a person for marriage, you should determine if that person is generous and loves his enemies and is good to all.
As I said before, if you have already married a person without these traits, it is time to pray. It is important to pray for your marital life-partner on these points. Beyond praying for your marital life-partner, you should pray that you would also demonstrate this type of godly life as child of God. Pray even now that you will be led by the Spirit, be a peacemaker, be generous and be good to your own enemies.
Then the Lord will bless you with the promise from Psalms 2:7-8, “Now I will tell you what the Lord has declared. He said to me, “You are my son, Today I have become your Father. If you ask me, I will give you the nations all the people on earth will be yours.”
These are just few of the characteristics to look for in a man who is a child of God. Many times parents see the social status while marrying off their children, but often fail to check the spiritual status. As young women of faith, we can pray for our marital life-partner according to the Word of God. It is better to pray now than be sorry later. Psalms 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will grant the desires of your heart.” If these are your desires, you will make God happy. God has said when we ask; He will give us good things. So when we ask for the right things according to His Word and His will, there is nothing our dear loving Heavenly Father will withhold from His darling daughters. Remember you are daughters of the Most High King.

Stay Blessed!

Merilyn Amirtharaj