THE YOKE OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is the bond of two souls made into one flesh. In this union of souls we see the confluence of a lot of emotions and decisions and belief systems. Marriage is not just about the compatibility in educational qualifications or status in the society but it has a lot to do with two people believing in the same thing and having some common fundamental belief system that is agreed upon in order for two unique individuals to co exist peacefully.
Marriage can be compared to two oxen yoked together carrying the same burden of children, shared responsibilities, shared finances, shared needs, a future, a destiny and much more. The Bible clearly states that we should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). But first let us know who an unbeliever is. For each person the definition of an unbeliever varies. We often tend to define a person who does not have the same belief as yours as an unbeliever. Therefore we need to be very careful what is our motive behind praying for the Salvation of our spouses. We should be careful not to seek the salvation of spouses for our own satisfaction or convenience. As wives God created us to be suitable helpers to help the man to reach his destiny in God. This chapter is for the women who are crying out for the salvation of their husbands. For those who do not share the same belief system as theirs. The Bible clearly states in I Corinthians 7: 34 that, “ A woman who is not married or a girl who has never married is busy with the Lord’s work. She wants to be holy in body and spirit. But a married woman is busy with things of the world, as to how she can please her husband.”
‭‭Being married we have two relationships to please and be concerned about. We have to be concerned about pleasing the Lord and our spouse. Therefore it is of vital importance to marry someone who believes in the same God and in the same belief system that you have so that you can live a peaceful God pleasing life in the midst of pleasing your spouse at the same time.

There are three categories of unbelievers

For those who do not believe that Jesus is The only God and creator of the universe:
The Bible clearly says that you should not marry an unbeliever “How can Christ and Belial, the devil, have any agreement? What can a believer have together with a nonbeliever?”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭6:15‬ ‭NCV‬‬
Yet if you are in that situation due to unavoidable circumstances either through your own choice or the choice of others or it is after marriage that you came to know Jesus as your personal Saviour and you have been unequally yoked then this chapter is too encourage you through your journey of life.
‭‭the Bible says in 1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:16-17‬ ‭NCV‬
“Wife, you don’t know; maybe you will save your husband. And husband, you don’t know; maybe you will save your wife. But in any case each one of you should continue to live the way God has given you to live—the way you were when God called you. This is a rule I make in all the churches.”

From this we know that we cannot be sure whether we can save a person or not. Because Salvation belongs to the Lord ( Rev 7:10) . The word of God clearly says that salvation belongs to God. We can never bring about the Salvation of a soul. It is the result of God’s grace and not through any mans works. In first Peter chapter 1 and verse five it says God’s power protects you through your faith until salvation is shown to you at the end of time. Salvation is the end result of the process by which Jesus becomes the lord over every aspect of a person’s life from the day that a person invites Jesus into their hearts and confess this with their mouth that Jesus is Lord. They become a child of God they come into the born again experience of being a co heir with Christ but only if they have to continue to abide in this walk with the Lord through prayer reading the word worship and through the gathering of saints by remembering the Lord whenever they do so.So we know not whom the Lord chooses to save we will come to know about it only at the end of time. A person could be saved at the very end like the robber on the cross who was crucified along with Jesus or like Paul with a sudden encounter with the Lord in the prime of his life. But we should earnestly seek the born again experience of our spouses because the Bible clearly says that it is Gods will that none should perish but everyone should have been everlasting life. But as spouses of unbelievers who follow a different religion it is a very difficult predicament in matters pertaining to worship of any other God it is clearly forbidden but in cultural matters you can obey your spouse. It is easier said than done. But when you are persecuted for the sake of Christ don’t worry The Holy Spirit will teach you what to say at the right time and give you a way of escape so that you can never bow down to any other God except Jehovah. It takes a lot of courage but the God who sees will surely bring about the Salvation of your spouse and because you believe your children are also sanctified ( I Cor 7:14). You must make every effort to live in peace with your spouse and trust God to give them an encounter with Him.

The second category of unbelievers are those who know that Jesus is the only true God but have not made Jesus as their personal Lord and Saviour. Those Without a born again experience. They are namesake Christians.

This kind of spouses also are unbelievers and we have to seek their born again experience but we should not get into vain arguments or rebellious prideful talk but be a wife with a gentle and quite spirit with which we can persuade them without saying even a single word to follow the way of truth in Christ Jesus.
I Peter 3: 1 -2 says,“In the same way, you wives should yield to your husbands. Then, if some husbands do not obey God’s teaching, they will be persuaded to believe without anyone’s saying a word to them. They will be persuaded by the way their wives live. Your husbands will see the pure lives you live with your respect for God.”
Some husbands may be believing a different doctrine or may be from a different denomination. They might not believe the same things you believe in, in those times we have to Submit to them humbly and ask the Holy Spirit to convict them ( John 16:8). We should not do the job or convincing or convicting them. When we do so they will be able to see that what we believe is right. God expects us to continue in our faith and do what is right in His eyes and not be afraid of anything. ( I Peter 3:6(b)). Many a times fear causes us to react differently to our spouses and we tend to show that we are at a better Spiritual level than them. It can lead to Spiritual Pride and at times cause them to further withdraw from God and us. So let us completely give them into the hands of God. We must believe that God is more interested in their correct belief system than us and let the Holy Spirit do what only He can do that is to guide us into all truth ( John 16:13) and reveal Christ in all His fullness. The only thing we as wives should do is pray. In ‭‭1 John‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭NCV‬‬ we read that “If anyone sees a brother or sister sinning (sin that does not lead to eternal death), that person should pray, and God will give the sinner life. I am talking about people whose sin does not lead to eternal death. There is sin that leads to death. I do not mean that a person should pray about that sin.” In our spouses life we might see that in most areas they are good but one sin, or one addiction may be still there, may be there is one wrong doctrine that they are holding on to. In those times the only way to deal with it is through prayer. Only God can open their eyes to see the truth in all its entirety.

The third category of unbelievers May be those who believe that Jesus is the only God and He will also be the Lord and Saviour of their lives but have no Spiritual Maturity or Spiritual Initimacy with you.

Like we see in the life of Mary the mother of Jesus. She had a great call upon her life. She was called to carry the son of God in her womb. But unless the call on her life was revealed to Joseph directly by God to Him there is no way Joseph could have accepted or believed the call God had on the life of Mary. As a wife we must always remember that no Authority is placed over our lives except that which is from God ( John 19:11) . So may be as a wife you could have received a lot of prophecies, visions from God but you have a husband who does not believe any of it. You don’t have to worry. God can work through that authority to accomplish his will. The Bible says in Proverbs 21:1 says, “The LORD can control a king’s mind as he controls a river; he can direct it as he pleases.” So when the vision is from God. God knows how to accomplish it. We need not worry. The Bible also says that we should pray for those in authority so that we can live peaceful lives ( I Tim2:2)
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A marital relationship which is unequally yoked can be compared to the relationship between the Israelites and Moses. Moses was yoked with the Israelites. Many a times he wanted to let go of them but he was placed in a position of responsibility to lead them to the promise land with the help of God. He was literally married to them. They were a group of people where some believed in God but they all were standing far away from God. They said Moses you go close to God and you tell us what He wants us to know. They did not want to do what it takes to get to know God or His ways.( Exodus 20: 21). Moses kept growing in His relationship with God. From the time he met God in the burning bush, he kept getting to know God in a closer way. He did not worry about the people. He went on to know God as a friend who would talk to him face to face like a man. He became more and more humble when he grew in His relationship with God( Numbers 12:3). Moses prayed for the people with him, he took care of them, interceded for them to the point where he asked God to erase his name from the book of life ( Exodus 31: 32) but he could never force them to obey God. Apart from this mission of bringing the people to the land of Canaan, Moses also had to fulfil His role in the eternal plan of God by writing the first 5 books of the Bible which is a blessing to thousands of generations after him. If he had only focused only on bringing the people to Canaan and not focused on fulfilling his own purpose in God he would have failed and we would all be at loss. But only because He kept His focus on God He was able to fulfil Gods plan for us His life and in turn became a blessing to millions. In the end he did not step into the land of Canaan but because he followed God faithfully He entered the eternal Canaan which is heaven. Eventually he accomplished his mission and God led the people even without him to inherit the land of canaan. In the same way the wife of an unbeliever should be instrumental in leading their spouse to the promised land of heaven through God’s help. We often tend to focus more on the husbands Salvation rather than our own relationship with Christ and accomplishing our own purpose in life. It is in those moments we get frustrated and disturbed. We must remember that Salvation belongs to the Lord. Only He can bring a man unto himself ( John 6:44). If we allow the Holy Spirit to do His work we can keep our mind in perfect peace ( Isaiah 26:3). Otherwise we will loose our peace and our focus. Every women God has created has been created with a purpose. He has called us to bring solutions to many problems. Only when we keep our eyes fixed on the author and finisher of our faith ( Hebrews 12:2) and run faithfully the race marked for us We will be able to see God work on our behalf and at the same time fulfil the purpose God has for our life. Many wives keep praying about the spouses Salvation throughout their lifetime that they forget to fulfil their own God given purpose for their lives.

When we don’t see any change that we expect in our spouses many a times we get frustrated and think that we are left alone to fend for our selves in our journey but Jesus says,”Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
‭‭(Matthew‬ ‭11:28-30‬ ) Even when we are unequally yoked we must yoke ourselves with Jesus and become more like Him. The more we become like Jesus. They will see Christ in us, the hope of glory ( Col 1:24). They will want to follow the Lord you serve only when they see the love, joy, peace , truth and life in you. We could be the only Bible that they read. So our patience will be richly rewarded. But if we are complaining and unhappy they will not want to even live with us ( Proverbs 21:19) let alone following Jesus. It is our life that is the light. The Bible says that when Jesus is lifted high He will draw all men unto him ( John 12:32). When we build an altar and offer unto Him the sacrifice of praise in our family. He will come and dwell with us. When we focus on our relationship with Him we will receive the authority from Him to cast out the prince of the air that has blinded the eyes of understanding ( II Cor 4:4) of our spouses. Through all this we learn to Spiritually grow in the Lord and when the time is right God will bring about the Salvation of our Spouses for His own glory. Now, “To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.”
‭‭(Jude‬ ‭1:24-25‬ ‭NIV‬‬)Amen.

Jemimah Amirtharaj